Tips for the parent
in the passenger seat.

Our classroom instructors have impressed upon the student their responsibility for the safety of their passengers and other motorists, as well as the grave dangers that exist on the road that they need to anticipate. Coupled with the fact that the student has been long awaiting this rite of passage, they are experiencing the excitement of finally being allowed to drive, anxiety about their performance, and the stress of now performing all of this safely and responsibly with no experience. In a nutshell, expect the student to be overwhelmed.

We have some suggestions to help ease the tension of this training period for you and your student.

1. Start your student with basic steering maneuvers to understand the relationship between the steering wheel and the movement of the car. Figure 8s and Ss are good for this.

2. Progress slowly with acceleration and stopping smoothness.

3. Remember that everything the student is about to do behind the wheel is a very new experience. Nothing is natural or second nature to them as it may be to you.

4. Call your student by name to ensure you have their full attention before giving any directives.

5. Give the student simple, positive direction. State where to do, how to do, what you would like them to do.

6. Allow plenty of time to process and execute the maneuver you are expecting them to execute. Example: "Ryan, as we approach the next corner, I would like you to prepare for a right turn. Remember to signal, check your blind spot, and check for cross traffic." Example to avoid: "Okay, let's make a right here!" / "What are you doing? You forgot to signal!"

7. Don't expect them to execute maneuvers perfectly. Anticipate that they might not remember all of the details for some time. So gentle reminders help before the maneuver. Be patient.

8. Don't expect them to know things just because they have been a passenger in your cars for years. They need to be told basic things like how to adjust mirrors, how to depress accelerator and brake "as though there is a raw egg beneath them. The object is don't break the egg!"

9. Humor helps to diffuse a tense situation when mistakes are made. For example, when the student overreacts and slams the brake, responding with "oops, scrambled eggs!" gets the point across better than yelling "I told you not to do that!"

10. Avoid using street names to locate where you would like the student to turn. Rather, say something like "not at this signal but the signal after this one, I would like you to make a left turn." At first, recognizing a street by name is one too many details for most students. Their concentration will be diverted from the safety issues to search for the particular street. Let them get enough experience to become comfortable in traffic before using street names.

11. Starting in industrial parking lots with figure 8s and Ss is a good way to help the student become familiar with steering and acceleration.

12. Remember that for 15 years as a passenger, the student has never been aware of how close the car has to a center line, or for that matter, the other vehicles approaching from the opposite direction. Now that they are in the driver's seat, they are suddenly aware of just how close everything seems to be on the left. It is only natural for them to move closer to the right where it feels more familiar.

13. Remember that you are nearly as unfamiliar with sitting on the right with the heightened awareness of having an inexperienced driver at the wheel. So you will tend to overreact as well. Those parked cars are going to feel awfully close. Talk about this issue of mutual discomfort. It helps.

14. To help the student get over the fear of the center line, it is often helpful to try this exercise. When you are stopped for a red light in the center lane, have the student open the door so they can see the actual distance between the car and the line. Students are usually quite surprised that it is not as close as it feels.

15. When working on the lane position, the fear of oncoming traffic can be reduced by discussing what the student believes would actually happen if they did cross the line. You might ask, "if an approaching vehicle crossed the line, what would you do? Would you stay here or would you swerve?" They will, no doubt, answer that they would swerve. "Do you think that the other car would allow you to hit them? Or do you think they would also get out of your way?" This discussion is not to encourage crowding or crossing the centerline, only to give them some truth and logic to lessen the exaggerated fear. In other words, it may help strike the balance between total paranoia and a healthy fear and respect for the divided highway.

16. Don't expect them to spread their attention in too many directions for a while. You will need to see the signs for speed, lane ending, etc. for them. Give the student plenty of advance notice. Until they have the basics down, they will need you to point out the end of a lane or a right turn only, etc. These disciplines will be assimilated as the student becomes more comfortable in traffic and less overwhelmed with other details. When you feel they may be ready, have them begin to inform you whenever they see a traffic sign so they can begin learning to scan. It all comes one step at a time.

17. Encourage a student who weaves when looking over their shoulder to make lane changes to merely loosen their grip on the wheel for the quick second blind-spot check. They must not remove their hands from the wheel, only release momentarily. And they must not look back more than a second or two. If they are unsure of what they do or do not see, they are to look back at the road and then do another 1 or 2 second check until they are able to trust what they see.

18. Please reinforce the practice of the student driver always walking around the car checking for children, pets, toys, and other objects before their drive.

19. Encourage student awareness of safe following distance and escape routes.

20. When the session gets too stressful, head for home or change drivers. Try to remember your first attempts to drive. We've all been there.